Dan Clore
2005-06-30 14:11:17 UTC
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/06/29/zombie_dogs/
US boffins resurrect zombie dogs
By Lester Haines (lester.haines at theregister.co.uk)
Published Wednesday 29th June 2005 10:57 GMT
US scientists at the Papa Doc Duvalier
(http://www.answers.com/topic/fran-ois-papa-doc-duvalier )
Center for Reanimation Studies* are celebrating
ground-breaking research during which they successfully
raised dogs from the grave after several hours of "clinical
death".
According to news.com.au, the technique involves draining
the mutts' blood and replacing it with a saline solution a
couple of degrees above zero. The body temperature drops to
around 7°C, provoking a cessation of breathing, heart and
brain activity and rendering the subject officially dead.
To reanimate the zombie canine, the latter-day Herbert Wests
reintroduce the blood while administering 100 per cent
oxygen and electric shocks to jump-start the heart. The dog
is apparently none the worse for its near-permanent-death
experience and reportedly suffers no physical or brain
damage as a result of this macabre experiment. We assume
that post-resurrection mental capacity is judged by throwing
a stick across the lab and seeing if the four-legged member
of the Tontons Macoutes
(http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/history/A0849049.html ) runs
after it with tail-wagging enthusiasm.
Naturally, there is some perfectly legitimate science behind
all this. The team reckons the technique could be used to
temporarily suspend battlefield casualties, during which
surgeons could repair the damage before jump-starting the
bewildered grunt. One unnamed army doc enthused: "The
results are stunning. I think in 10 years we will be able to
prevent death in a certain segment of those using this
technology."
The scientists plan to reanimate a human subject within a
year. Any reader wishing to participate in this historic
moment is advised to wrap up warm and fully acquaint him or
herself with the works of HP Lovecraft
(http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/reanimator.htm
).
* Ok, we made that up. It's actually the Safar Centre for
Resuscitation Research in Pittsburgh.
--
Dan Clore
My collected fiction, _The Unspeakable and Others_:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1587154838/thedanclorenecro/
Lord Weÿrdgliffe & Necronomicon Page:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/9879/
News & Views for Anarchists & Activists:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/smygo
Strange pleasures are known to him who flaunts the
immarcescible purple of poetry before the color-blind.
-- Clark Ashton Smith, "Epigrams and Apothegms"
US boffins resurrect zombie dogs
By Lester Haines (lester.haines at theregister.co.uk)
Published Wednesday 29th June 2005 10:57 GMT
US scientists at the Papa Doc Duvalier
(http://www.answers.com/topic/fran-ois-papa-doc-duvalier )
Center for Reanimation Studies* are celebrating
ground-breaking research during which they successfully
raised dogs from the grave after several hours of "clinical
death".
According to news.com.au, the technique involves draining
the mutts' blood and replacing it with a saline solution a
couple of degrees above zero. The body temperature drops to
around 7°C, provoking a cessation of breathing, heart and
brain activity and rendering the subject officially dead.
To reanimate the zombie canine, the latter-day Herbert Wests
reintroduce the blood while administering 100 per cent
oxygen and electric shocks to jump-start the heart. The dog
is apparently none the worse for its near-permanent-death
experience and reportedly suffers no physical or brain
damage as a result of this macabre experiment. We assume
that post-resurrection mental capacity is judged by throwing
a stick across the lab and seeing if the four-legged member
of the Tontons Macoutes
(http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/history/A0849049.html ) runs
after it with tail-wagging enthusiasm.
Naturally, there is some perfectly legitimate science behind
all this. The team reckons the technique could be used to
temporarily suspend battlefield casualties, during which
surgeons could repair the damage before jump-starting the
bewildered grunt. One unnamed army doc enthused: "The
results are stunning. I think in 10 years we will be able to
prevent death in a certain segment of those using this
technology."
The scientists plan to reanimate a human subject within a
year. Any reader wishing to participate in this historic
moment is advised to wrap up warm and fully acquaint him or
herself with the works of HP Lovecraft
(http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/reanimator.htm
).
* Ok, we made that up. It's actually the Safar Centre for
Resuscitation Research in Pittsburgh.
--
Dan Clore
My collected fiction, _The Unspeakable and Others_:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1587154838/thedanclorenecro/
Lord Weÿrdgliffe & Necronomicon Page:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/9879/
News & Views for Anarchists & Activists:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/smygo
Strange pleasures are known to him who flaunts the
immarcescible purple of poetry before the color-blind.
-- Clark Ashton Smith, "Epigrams and Apothegms"